Writing

So I have decided, that I am going to start sitting down and writing 10-15 minutes a day, and we will see where it goes from there, I just feel as though I need an outlet, something or someplace to explore the things inside of me, but in a safe environment, I don't know if I will share them here on one of the blogs or if I will keep them to myself, probably a little bit of both truth be told, I may decide to share parts of a story or the ideas behind it, I just need a creative outlet. I still intend to keep doing the photography, but I find that I just don't have the time to go out and explore lately and because of this my mind is exploding, so hopefully this will help. Anyways, I think that's all I have for you tonight, as always thanks for listening!

Hi

So it's been a while, again, I know I suck at updating, but I don't always find the ability to write. Today I am doing this to try and get in the mood because I have recently stared volunteering at the museum, and I have some things to write, but I just haven't felt it, if that makes sense, and seeing as I have to turn them in Friday, I really need to feel it soon you know...

So here I am, since I last wrote we have gone through all of the major holidays and are now coming up on summer, the boys have both done very well in school this year, and are both looking forward to some awesomeness this summer, I am not yet sure how I am going to pay for their awesomeness, but I will not let them down. 

My carefully planned finances are in ruins ATM, still working on how to fix them, but if anyone wants to give me a loan for 10-15 thousand I am good for it and will happily pay you back over the next few years, and yeah I am both joking and serious! 

Our dryer keeps dying, so I think it may be time to replace it, and I started remodeling the bathroom, got the tile work in the shower done, then I was intending to paint, then next year we would pull out the sink and replace that and the floors, but sadly as I said my finances are crashing around me so we will have to wait and see how that goes.

This year was my hubby's and mine 10th annivarsary, we were gonna head to Hawaii but that did not work out, so we ended up in San Diego instead which was cool, and I was going to get this awesome necklace but we couldn't and then when we could it was discontinued so now I am on the hip unit for a different awesome necklace, but who knows when we will be able to actually buy one. 

I was hoping to head to New York for my birthday, but that did not work out either, and know I realize that I am just complaining, so I am gonna go, my life is really not bad, it is pretty awesome, I just get upset when things don't work out I guess, either way, no matter, I will try and be better about posting. Laters all....

Life

So Lost - So Confused

So Much Pressure

Escape - Waves - Freedom

The Ability To Just Go

Because You Need To

Trapped

In

Responsibilities

Misunderstood - No One Cares

Unattractive

Unwanted

Questioning Everything

Alone

So Very Alone

The end

So this season of TV marks the end of two of my all time fave shows, Glee, and True Blood.  Seeing as Glee is not going to start until January, which I am still upset with btw, this post is all about True Blood.

So I just marathoned the entire season over the last two days around my kids being awake and school and such, and I have to tell you I was really enjoying the beginning of it. I thought it had a good premise, which is saying something because after last season I was really sorta on the fence about this one with the time jump and Sam as the mayor and all, but I think that all made sense, it all worked into the story, it just all flowed nicely.  And it kept flowing well all the way to the end, the final episode though, for me at least it just feels wrong.

They took what was undoubtedly one of the darkest shows on television, and they ended it at what amounts to a fucking tea party.  Everyone is happy, life is wonderful, lots of happy endings, they seriously just ruined seven years worth of amazing work with one episode.  Don't get me wrong, some of it fit nicely, I actually enjoyed the wedding, though I feel as if there should have been some way for Hoyt to get back his memories, I mean, her blood, sex sphere should be someway for the vampire who gazed you to unglazed you, plus that would have brought more conflict to the show which would have been nice, because no way does everyone live happily ever after on True Blood, it's just not the way the show was meant to end, it's not what it was built up to do. 

Like Eric would ever actually leave Sookie alone, that goes so much against his character, at least when he is right freakin there, it just doesn't make sense to me.  The rest of his line though, what happens with Sara and Pam and the New Blood, that all makes sense to me, just not him with Sookie, that was left unfinished. And why is Jason's kids older than 4, she seems a bit older than Sams daughter, is that the fairy with the whole speedy growing thing, or is that just bad casting, and Sookie with some faceless man, no way, does not work, feels forced to me.  The whole thing just left a nasty flavor in my mouth I guess.  

There was one scene that I loved on the final episode though, Eric driving away with all the bodies, bopping to the music, that was a perfect scene, it worked for his character and it worked with the usual tone of the show, I will say that is probably my fave scene of the season and within the top five for the entire series.  I just wished they had been able to close the whole thing with the sense that scene captured rather than the 'disney' feeling they ended up leaving us with.

Well I guess that is it for my vent, until the next time something crawls under my skin and refuses to leave without being acknowledged in a semi public forum!!! =0)

What's up...

So it has been quite a while since I posted here, almost a year, and it has been a busy year...

I have been depressed most of the last year, it comes and goes, and I wish it would stay away, but it is what it is I guess.  The boys are both heading to school in August, which is awesome and sad at the same time.  It does mean though that now get to do stuff for me, whether that is school again or a job I do not know, I have been looking at both and nothing really appeals to me.  I do not want to work a job I hate because I do not have to, so I am choosing to be picky and wait for something that really grabs my interest, the only issue is that I am not yet sure what that is going to be. This far the only job that really sounds like something I would enjoy is in LA, and I do not want to be away from my family. So it is out, I am really afraid that I am not going to be able to find something here, and that I will be stuck doing nothing, well, I volunteer, a lot, but I just feel like something is missing, I wish I could figure out what that something is...

So I got to head to San Francisco this year in January for my anniversary and it was amazing, I fell in love with the city, the atmosphere and the people, it was fantastic, plus it is right on the ocean, which is have just connected to, I feel so whole when I am there, and so empty when I am away, and since I live in the middle of a freakin desert, empty is something I am sadly getting used to.  I never expected to connect to the sea in such a way, yet I have and it is sometimes painfully unbearable to be away from it...

August is taking me to Maine for my moms high school graduation and to see the part of the family that I have not seen in 20+ years for most of them.  I am both excited, the ocean, squeee!!!  And also nervous, I am very me, I do not bend well, not for anyone, nor to I have any intention of doing so, so I worry that there will be a lot of clashing going on, but I do not want to upset my mom, so I suspect that it is going to be a pretty quiet trip for me, I will try very hard to keep my thoughts to myself, and honestly if they do not like me, which I suspect most won't, that is their issue and not mine...

Well I think that is it for now, I will try to write more often, I know I say that a lot, but maybe this time I will manage it! =0)

Glee

Ok, so the name of this blog is Obsessions, so I figured today I would share one of current obsessions, which is Glee, ok, not so much all of Glee, more like Blaine, and not even all of Blaine, more like Darren Criss's voice, I mean damn, that man can sing, and ATM I cannot seem to get enough of it.  I have been watching and listening pretty much constantly for a couple of weeks now and it I mot getting better, in fact, if anything it is getting worse... So anyways, there is my current obsession for the moment, I say for the moment because it is bound to change, anyone who knows me I'll tell you that I read a lot, and sometime I will read the same book over and over again, numerous times until I feel a though I know all of its nuances, since the Glee thing started I have not been able to read, so it will pass as all the others do, but I felt I should share.  Hugs to you all and may obsessions consume you!  =0)

Winter Mornings

You know, I really hate this winter, it has been cold, miserably cold.  It has snowed like 6 or 7 times at this point, which is a lot more than our once a year dusting.  One of the best things about living in AZ is the fact that 90% of the state has very comfortable winter weather, and that other 10% can be avoided unless you choose to visit.  This has been the most insane winter I remember here, never have we gotten snow more than twice in a season, and that twice is very seldom.  And I cannot remember a time when the snow actually lasted more than a few hours.  We actually had a snow last two days before melting, that is unheard of. 

Now that you know why I do not like this winter, let me tell you the one thing I have liked about it.  The sun coming up later.  I am a night person, it does not seem to matter when I get up, I will not be going to sleep until after 11 at the earliest more often then not.  So the sun coming up later is a real boon for me, not because it wakes me up, but because it wakes up my youngest son.  95% of the time he gets up with the sun, which means as the warmth comes back into our lives this year, he is getting up earlier and earlier, culminating with a month or two of getting up between 5 and 530.  This is completely unacceptable to me, little to no sleep makes for a very moody mama, which does not just effect him but also his brother!  It is already starting, he was up before 730 this morning, sad.

Last summer, we handled this by showing him how to turn on the tv, we would put it on Disney JR, or Sprout, whichever he was in the mood to watch before we went to bed the night before, then he would be happy and get in his tv time before we got up, this year though such a tactic will not work,  the tv needs to be warmed up, with a hair dryer, before it will turn on, seriously, we have to blow the thing for at least 10 minutes through the vents in the back to get it to turn on, it is very frustrating, and that was before I realized that it meant no more sleep for the mom...

Anyways, I am sure that the oldest one is going to be getting up soon, and I have yet to have my caffeine, and the little one keeps bugging me about his game, so I guess it is time for me to wander off!