depression

I had completely forgotten how wonderfully debilitating depression can be.  It has been a long time since I have been depressed for more than just a few hours or a day here and there.  This is going on three days, straight, and really if I want to be honest it has been months since I have been happy for more than just a moment here or there, it is just getting worse I guess.  I wish I knew how to get out of it.  But really i just do not see that has an option.  I lived this way for years and I am not looking to go back to it... but it is like something that I cannot fix, not yet at least, but hopefully in a few months, things will be better, then I will no longer be this way, at least that is what I am hoping.  it is hard on me and on the boys, especially on the boys,  I am a grump and just want to be left alone and that is not possible.  or I want to be included and that is not gonna happen either, guess it is time to suck it up and grow up, I just am not sure I will be able to do that...