Day 11

Something you always think “What if...” about.

Let’s see, what if my father hadn’t gotten sick when he did. What if I had actually given a damn in high school. What if 9-11 had never happened, any of these could have had a profound affect on my life, but really what if’s are useless, you can’t keep looking back, you have to appreciate the present and plan for the future...

Name a few of your weaknesses.

I think my biggest weakness is the fact that I don’t always plan ahead, when my dad got sick all the plans that we had went out the window, and we didn’t get to do what we could have as a family because we kept putting off for later the things and places we wanted to visit and do. So with my family, we do it, even when we shouldn’t, even though we can’t necessarily afford it, if the boys want to do it and I can figure out a way, then we do it, it’s just that financially that has sunken us, there is really no reason for us to be as in debt as we are, except for my inability to say no, not right now, you’ll have to wait a bit, or maybe not ever, and I should add in myself as well, I truly love to travel,  it’s probably my biggest joy in life, so sometimes the boys will randomly mention something and I’ll jump on it, and sometimes I just wander off with the family in tow because I need to get away.  So now I stress, a lot about how to pay the bills, and about how to continue to do things with my family, I don’t let many people see how much it bothers me, or really let anyone know that I am always trying to figure it out, but at this point I have juggled it quite well, I know eventually I am going to drop all the balls, that it’s all going to bury me, but it will be one hell of a ride until then, and so long as I can keep it away from everyone else, I will deal with it then.